Hot Bod

"All you talk about is YOGA!"

my friend Kristine whined to me the other day as we shared a lunch of various soy based proteins, seaweed and green tea. We had gone out to a local Japanese restaurant to discuss her current life crisis and I had suggested she try some meditation or some other physical techniques (aka YOGA) to help her stress levels.

" I mean, I GET IT," she grimaced as she poked at her slimy sea vegetables, "but GAWWD, remember when you used to get DRUNK with me and smoke cigarettes and how much FUN we had?!?"

I nodded, scanning the foggy memories of my party days in Asheville, and all the cigarettes and booze it entailed. They are not bad memories mind you, I had a great time as a drunk. But, that was then.

"Yeah..." I replied quizzically. "But look at mamas guns NOW!" I said as I stuck out a rock hard bicep for her to feel.

"Omigawwwd!" she replied wide eyed as she felt my steely brawn. "That's just from YOGA!?!?"

I nodded proudly and lifted up my shirt so she could glimpse my nearly flat stomach.

For the past four months I have been doing an hour and a half of yoga six days a week. Sometimes I get crazy and do three hours. Granted, I am mildly obsessed, but hey, when in yoga teacher training...do as the yogis do eh?

I realize that yoga is an inward, spiritually minded journey, but HOT DAMN if I'm not enjoying the physical benefits right now. It has been a gradual process, but my muscles are showing definition that has never before been seen on my body. I am, by nature, a, shall we say, SOFTER body type. Rubenesque if you will. Well, that mushy, squishy, dimpled physique is morphing into a modern, rock solid beach body!
Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. I will never look like Gabrielle Reece, but damn, mama's working hard and she's liking what she sees!
So is my man I might add. I simply cant walk past him in my tight new jeans without getting groped like a tranny in the castro district!! My strapless New Years eve dress nearly sent him into a coma and I have to admit, I couldnt stop taking pictures of myself either!

"Damn, girl, I'D sleep with you!!" my friend Kiley ogled that very same night.

So, you get the point. I am slipping into a puddle of yoga induced vanity and feel my newly defined arm muscles at least ten times a day.

If I am diligent and spiritually minded this phase will pass and I will be a humble, ego-less enlightened being. Or, at least a good yoga teacher who doesnt constantly talk about herself.

It's a fine line I'm walking and right now I'm on the side of shameless self obsession...and enjoying it immensely.

"Maybe I should do some yoga with you....." Kristine said hesitantly as she eyed my tight glutes. "I mean, as long as I can light a cigarette after we're done, because I'm just not into all that breathing shit..."

Namaste

Y'all....