Fashion Victim

I said I would never do it.
"I'm no slave to fashion," I haughtily told my friend Michelle four years ago, when she came back from Europe with the hot new look: Skinny Jeans.
"How wretched!" I thought to myself. "I thought we got rid of such things in the eighties!"
I rocked my flared denims as I always had and ignored the ever increasing number of women in their tight and tapered trousers.

I'm a big girl, always have been. I have come to accept my body, but I most certainly do not like to accentuate my, for lack of a better word, thunder thighs. I hide them under skirts, squeeze them into control top pantyhose and avoid bathing suits at all cost. But, times change and, five years later, so have I. Last week I walked into the mall a big legged girl in flared pants and walked out: a fashion victim.
By my own choice, mind you. I just could not ignore this trend any longer. Every girlfriend that I have in Asheville has made the switch and has been encouraging my to do so for months.

"You'd look SO CUTE!" my friend Dee chirped as she squeezed her boots over her skin tight britches.
I scowled and grabbed my love handles.
"Aint nobody want to see this hangin out honey." I assured her.
After awhile I started looking around at the women who were dawning these slender knickers, and I realized that skinny jeans weren't just for the skinny anymore. Women of ample builds were rockin' them alongside Kate Moss lookalikes. I felt increasingly like I was stuck in the nineties, and as a fashion conscious youth I had an obligation to keep up with the times. And the times said: Tight and Tapered!!

Look, my spiritually conscious self knows not to get too wrapped up in the physcial . The jeans I wear dont define me. My ego is the one driving my fashion choices. My spirit reminds me to let it go and just be. And although I am trying more and more to honor my spirit-I still have a healthy ego. Hence, the skinny jeans I am now wearing.

That's right. I have joined the masses and squeezed my fat ass inside these lanky slacks. At first I was highly self aware. Now, I have decided to own it. Own my large thighs, because they're all I've got. Life's to short to judge yourself. So I quit judging and starting sucking in. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to parade myself out in public like the fashion victim that I am.

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
Gandhi

Squeaky Clean.

I love it. Putting on my favorite music and making a day out of cleaning house. It soothes my soul, and calms my nerves. I start in the office and work my way around the house. The bathroom and kitchen are the ones that leave me with the most satisfied feeling once I am done with their nastiness. Bleaching, dusting, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, laundrying, vacuuming-ah! What bliss.
And afterwords?
A celebratory glass of wine in a blindingly clean living room with my man-who has done all the grocery shopping (a task I loath).
It all works out...

A Day For Myself

Waiting tables 10-11 hours a day four days a week is, well, a full time job to say the least. It is high stress, long hours and highly exhausting. I deal with a minimum of 100 people a day. I take in their requests, their complaints, their compliments and their energy. It is draining. It is also rewarding if you look at it in the right light. It is my choice to do it, and I make a damn fine living at it. I am fortunate for my income and I am very thankful for it.

But today I am stepping away. I work every Saturday, and I don't remember the last time I took a day off just because I felt like it. Today I am doing just that. I called a co-worker that was hard up for cash and gladly gave her my brunch shift that starts at 7:30 and usually ends somewhere between 5 and 6. I am a hard worker and, like many, I sometimes lose my identity in what I do.
Today I am exercising my ability to let go. To remember myself, who I am and what I Love. I just spent an hour on my back porch doing yoga and meditation. I cleaned my kitchen while listening to This American Life on NPR (LOVE that show!). I leisurely drank coffee with Dustin before he went to work and I am currently in my bathrobe, not having yet left my house. It's Divine. How lovely a Saturday afternoon looks from this perspective. Perhaps I shall go out to eat and have someone wait on ME!! Or maby a matinee..
The possiblities are endless-as they always are. If you allow yourself to see them.
Life is Good.