Giant Insects(and other bug filled tales of woe)

Beware ye of little entomological knowledge. Beware all ye who reside in Oregon who know not of the giant insects who dwell down South. Or, perhaps you DO know and that is exactly why you live in western Oregon or some such similar state in the northern hemisphere. For here in the South (yes, I am aware I am using a capital S-but in this situation, I feel the area warrents it) there are Insects of Unusual Sizes. Sizes and quantities you never imagined nor cared to know about.
But I'm gonna tell ya. Mmmm HMMMM. Yer gonna hear about it.

I arrived here with the vague knowledge that I would be encountering bugs of a bigger size than I ever cared to see. I should feel thankful really, that we did not choose to move to Mississippi, Alabama or any other state further South of here. Perspective aside, I was stunned, grossed out and all around shocked into submission over the size of insects(specifically arachnids) in this region. Even my horrifiying, insect related experiences in India and SE Asia did not prepare me for such critters. Perhaps it was the knowledge that I would not stay too long in either place.
"Hey baby come check this out!" Dustin's excited voice cried one humid Southern night after we just moved into our house.
"What?" I replied with little enthusiasm as I was involentarily torn away from my Vanity Fair magazine.
"There is a GIANT SPIDER on our garage door!" He exclaimed enthusiasticly, as if a local celebrity had just arrived at our door and announced our victory in the Publishers Sweepstakes.
My spine went cold with shivers. My imagination ran wild. The beautiful, movie star images staring back at me from the pages of Vanity Fair were replaced by images of purely imagined, eight legged terror.
"NO!!" I screamed as I wiggled uncomfortablely on the couch, "GROSS!"
I was the quintessential image of a blonde and fearful valley girl.
"Show me no spiders," my facial expression warned, "EVER!"

So Dustin calmly walked out to the garage and took the picture that you can all view above on the top of this page. Yes, it was really that freakin' big, and yes, such insects dwell all over this lovely, Dixie lovin' land of ours. Just two days ago I entered the shower with a smile. I was ready for the hot, refreshing stream that awaited me. What I encounterd instead, however, was a spider of no less size than the one you see at the top of this horribly punctuated run on sentence. I screamed in horror. I screamed in disgust. I screamed for my very life. The poor spider ran faster than a coon dog with a bur in its butt (as they like say down in these parts). Deep down I know they are more afraid of me and all that sensitive hogwash. But damned if that deep down side of me is going to take the lead when I encounter such icky, alien looking critters.
Not only are there freakishly large spiders. There are other exciting, home grown delights such as chiggers and tics!!! Beware how far you walk into the lovely, wooded North Carolina forest my friend. You just might be digging burrowing insects out of your itching skin, or scratching at the beginning signs of lime disease. Horse size mosquitos are another rapacious, Southern delights. I have the giant welts to prove it.

Native born Southerners will scoff at my fear of these big and furry beings. Scoff if you must my experienced and brave young friends. I am but a naive, Oregon girl who is new to this world of gigantic, creepy, crawly critters.
Teach me of your wiley, local ways if you must.
But, above all, wish me luck.

Itchily yours and in perpetual fear of an arachnid attack.

S