Death. Spring. Life.

In month so shrouded in death I take extra solace in the changing of the season. The news of murder suicides, suicides and overdoses involving friends, distant acquaintances and friends of friends have filled our house with a sense of shock, desperation and finally numbness.
For how long can someone sit in their grief? A long time I suppose. It's an exhausting emotion that can consume you if you let it. I have really not touched any of the grief that I have seen my dear friend Michelle suffer through the past few weeks, but I know it is raw, real and all consuming.
But as all this death has surfaced around us the fact that spring has most definitely sprung is all the more noticeable. Fresh, budding wysteria and pepto pink camellias surround our porch and the smell of mowed grass is ever present. Daffodils have been poking out for weeks letting us know that they are most certainly not dead. The freshest green you can imagine is gracing the branches of trees everywhere and the balminess of the air breathes life into the late bloomers.
We had our first barbecue of the season last weekend. The smoky fumes of heavenly flavor filled the air and mixed with our anticipation of the impending warmer months. As beers cracked and music played the mood felt lighter than it had for awhile. The ghosts of memories were most definitely still present in our minds, but there we were- alive, together and breathing in the springtime.
Death gives one perspective. I am so thankful for the ones I have, and I try to hold them a little closer these days. To tell them I love them once more than usual. To give out a hug for no reason at all, because you never know.....you just never know. But I do know this: life goes and I intend to live it. Through lingering hugs and lots of barbecues. Through mundane moments made magic by laughter. Through mowed lawns, bare feet and lawn chairs. A new season is upon us. Lets live and celebrate each balmy moment of it.