Self Loathing

I woke up this morning hating myself. My boyfriend was staring at me with a look of concern on his face andI felt as if I had pounded my head against a brick wall. I look like it too. There is a scab on my eye and a bruise on my face. Where did they come from you ask? I dont know that either. The last thing I remember is ordering a third double greyhound..the rest....is a complete blackout. I just got my cell phone back from some guy that found it on the street downtown by a cab I dont remember getting into. Lovely.
What is it with alchohol?-it is a metaphorical brick wall. We drink it-drink too much of it-pass out-wake up feeling like crap and vow never to drink again and then do just that. Ramming our heads against it over and over. Will we never learn? I dont know. I do know that I am not drinking anymore for awhile. Its not cute any more. Its not funny. And the hangovers sure dont go away as quickly as they used to. Today I hate myself. Luckily though, my boyfriend still loves me. God bless 'im and the puke bucket he left by our bed.